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Shitpost (TV series)/OG Version
Shitpost is a TV series that airs on a network based far, far away in space. If you find out what the channel is called, we will find you… and pee on your couch at 3:00am. The theme song is literally the musical number from the Nick India Dab bumper, but character names are changed. The end credits song is the Korean version of Cooking By The Book from Lazytown. (ends at 49 second mark) Premise Look at the page name or this would be more redundant than MikeEddyAdmirer89’s deviantart description. A chunk of the episodes focus on the cookies, while the other characters are shoved into the background. Characters Luan Loud 14-year-old comedian who is the president of the Anti Luaggie Club and runs a hotline centered around booking clown performances and comedic entertainment for birthday parties, with her younger brother being her assistant. She is currently embarking on a worldwide journey to have the remaining members of Devo perform at the center of meme hell, which is where the series normally takes place in, as well as making the act of shipping Luaggie a criminal offence. Everyone on the show thinks she is a lesbian, but she isn’t. She is in a relationship with Benny. Lincoln Loud Luan’s little brother who likes comic books and dank memes. Until the end of season one, the set of Shitpost was Luan’s secret bunker which is located under her bedroom. Although Lincoln himself got slightly less amounts of screen time back then, he was often heard yelling down the stairs making ridiculous remarks and statements. Lemon Cookie He ain't here to make friends, he's here to GET AS MUCH ELECTRICITY AS POSSIBLE and calm himself by listening to music. He'll most likely kill you if you use him as a charger. Lime Cookie SLAY QUEEN. SLAY SLAY. Now that I got that out of my system, she's feisty and is done with everybody's shit. Her hair somehow maintains its pleasant but permanent appearance, no matter how fast or wildly she runs. Despite her cute exterior, she is sometimes cold and egotistical. Also gay af for Orange Cookie. Demencia A lizard girl who is Luan’s acquaintance for the aforementioned journey. Her main hobby is finding the worst things known to mankind on the Internet. She states that the worst things she has ever found were 4th of July by USA Gal and the Don’t You Put It In Your Mouth PSA. In addition, Demencia is also a closeted Jake Pauler and Team 10 fanatic. Cinnamon Cookie IS THAT A FUCKING MAGIC MAN? YES!!! He also always keeps his right eye closed for some reason and rarely ever opens it. Also the self-proclaimed "Magician of the Century" and a closeted Devo, Biggie Cheese and MC Hammer fanatic. Benny Luan’s love interest who has also had it with everybody’s shit (jUST LIKE LIME COOKIE WTF). For the most part, he’s just a wallflower. He genuinely likes her jokes and probably dabs his fears away. Also a out and open Guy Fieri stan. Cherry Blossom Cookie A wonderlust-ridden travelholic who likes to cosplay as Mary Poppins, drink tea, and go on picnics. There is actually a high chance that she might have been the horse girl in elementary school, but whatever. She's here, she's happy, and she's a closeted Mary Poppins stan. Cherry_Blossom_Cookie.png|Actual attire Cherry_Blossom_Cookie_Halloween.png|Mary Poppins attire Orange Cookie Outside of playing tennis, this cookie enjoys snatching weaves (like Lime Cookie and Ronnie Anne, who we'll learn about in a bit) and dressing up as a succubus. Her childhood friend is Lemon Cookie, and Lime Cookie most likely idolizes her. She also likes to S M A S H things. Orange_Cookie_HD.png|Actual attire Orange_Cookie_Halloween.png|Succubus attire Ronnie Anne A Mexican child who doesn’t know why she is even here. A flaming asexual and Sk8r Gril™, she contradicts a lot of things and snatches weaves on the daily. The character in Ronnie Anne’s place was originally going to be Jailbreak from that god damn trainwreck known as The Emoji Movie, but at least Ronnie Anne isn’t an Emoji ripoff of Sombra. Lynn Loud Luan’s little sister who is shoehorned into the 3rd episode of season 1 and stays, and can often be seen turning mundane things into sports. During the last half of season 1, she can be seen in her chainsaw outfit from Tricked. Also pronounces “memes” as “mee-mees”. What a poser. Coffee Cookie What you get if you combine your average teen-aged white girl who goes to Starbucks every other day and glares at you whenever you're at the mall with her 600 bags of stuff she got at Sephora with a cookie. In all seriousness, she's pretty cool beans. She also religiously drinks coffee, likes to have fun, and dresses up as a banana on some occasions. Coffee_Cookie.png|Actual attire Coffee_Cookie_Halloween_new.png|Banana attire Cherry Cookie What you get if Junkrat was a female.... AND A COOKIE!!! WOW!!! Cherry Cookie is obsessed with bombs, and often has ones modelled after cherries on hand. She also probably killed a man. Think of Hester Ulrich, but a pyromaniac. Mr. Meeseeks HE’S MR. MEESEEKS! LOOK AT HIM! An alien species from Rick And Morty who originate from the Meeseeks Box. They would all be more than happy to do your every bidding, which is why they appear as servants in the series. All of them have the same eccentric and overly enthusiastic personality, but they regularly die. In the case of this god forsaken series, they regularly reincarnate and revive. Vampire Cookie THE FUCKING GRAPE JUICE GOD and an edgy vamp man. He loves grape juice more than PixelMiette hates the god damn existence of Real Housewives, and that's a lot. He also wants everyone to just chill. Did we mention he likes grape juice? Vampire Cookie has become the subject of various awkward moments in the series, and works part time as a spam mailer and grape juice spokesperson. As of "I Dream of the Juice", he is a mentor for AA's juice branch. Alchemist Cookie Vampire Cookie's smart, Lisa Loud-but-a-cookie-looking sister who cannot make juice with her "alchemy thingy". Also may or may not have killed a man, just like Cherry Cookie. Pink Choco Cookie LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY. SHE IS FUCKING ADORABLE AND I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY FOREVER. Despite her happy exterior, she is actually very lonesome and wishes to be loved and validated by the masses, and would be more than happy to pour you a nice glass of CHERRY WINE. Seriously, how is she always so cheerful? What anti-depressants is she on? Mint Choco Cookie Rick Sanchez A cookie guy that plays violin and is a highkey Phantom Of The Opera stan. All the lady cookies are all practically killing eachother for a chance to have him even look at them as they mentally bow down to him in the street (or the clinic, the local Wendy's, it truly doesn't matter). He really does look a bit like Rick Sanchez. Proto He is Proto, your security is his motto!  Install him on your computer, to protect your data better!   With him there, no viruses, could enter your computer!  Malware, spyware, trojan,  All gone forever!   He filters your junk mail, monitoring wi-fi, never fail! Antivirus is not enough, bitches. Episodes Please do post suggestions for episodes in the comments! Read the policy for suggesting episodes here. Season 1 /Pilot/ Luan cancels a Bee Movie anniversary celebration after she is suspected of being a lesbian. Lime Cookie, meanwhile, learns about the 76 genders. 'Trivia' * This episode is the first half-hour special, as well as the first episode of the series. /Lime Cookie Makes Spaghetti/ Lime Cookie tries to make spaghetti for dinner due to a vote (because nobody wanted pizza for the 6th fucking time that week). 'Trivia' * /The Godforsaken Movie/ Following some hypothetical dream Benny had one night, the cast decides to make a terrible movie where they sing Bart Baker parodies, Benny becomes a teen sensation a la Jacob Sartorius, and much more. 'Trivia' *The list of Bart Baker parodies sung (in order) goes as follows: ##Best Song Ever by One Direction, with Luan in Harry's role, Benny in Zayn's role, Lynn in Louis' role (save for the "It's an advertisement" line sung by Benny as Zayn in the actual parody), Demencia in Niall's role, Ronnie Anne in Liam's role, the rest of the cast (except Shope) in the crowd's role, and the SuperNoobs guest starring in the role of the aliens. ##Lips Are Movin' by Meghan Trainor, with Lime Cookie in Meghan's role, Pickle Rick in the Cameraman's role, the rest of the male cast (even Benny and Lincoln) in the role of the men, Orange Cookie, Vampire Cookie, Alchemist Cookie and Lemon cookie in the roles of the fans, Luan in the mother's role, Benny in the dad's role and Lincoln in the son's role. ##That's What I Like by Bruno Mars, with Shope in Bruno Mars' role. ##It's Everyday Bro by Jake Paul, with Vampire Cookie in Jake Paul's role, Luan in Nick Crompton's role, Lincoln in Chance Sutton's role, Ronnie Anne and Shope in the Martinez twins' roles, and Lime Cookie in Tessa Brooks' role. ###Luan only got the role of Nick Crompton because she threatened to kill Benny if she did not get it. ##Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius, with Benny in Jacob's role, Demencia in the nauseous girl's role, Lincoln in the bleach guy's role, and Orange Cookie in the teacher's role. ##Closer by The Chainsmokers and Halsey, with Ronnie Anne in Halsey's role, Benny in that other guy's role, Vampire Cookie in the keyboard guy's role, Cherry Blossom Cookie in the matress owner's role, Demencia in the officer's role and Shope in the doctor's role. ##Watch Me by Silento, with Lincoln in Silento's role, Cherry Blossom Cookie, Cherry Cookie and Pink Choco Cookie in the painted mens' roles, Demencia in the girl's role and Benny in Soulja Boy's role. ##Hit or Miss by Jacob Sartorius, with Benny in Jacob's role and Lincoln, Demencia and Lynn in the the homeless guys' roles. ##Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson and some other people I'm probably forgetting, with Shope in Bruno Mars' role, Mint Choco Cookie and Lemon Cookie in the backup dancers' roles, and Luan in Mark Ronson's role. ##Hair by Litte Mix, with Lime Cookie in Leigh-Anne's role, Orange Cookie in Perrie's role, Coffee Cookie in Jesy's role, Cherry Blossom Cookie in Jade's role, and Vampire Cookie in Sean Paul's role. /The Most Interesting Cookie In The World/ Vampire Cookie speaks out about grape juice and its health benefits on international television, much to Alchemist Cookie's annoyance; Cinnamon Cookie learns about Communism. 'Trivia' *Shameless product placement for the Schticky is present. /We Like To Party/ The cast hold a slumber party in the secret room in the basement. 'Trivia' *This episode was inspired by the POD episode Slumber Party Panic. *The activities featured during the party include: **Who can make the worst Musical.ly possible (Winner: Luan) **A game of fake heart attack (Winners: Cinnamon Cookie and Benny (tie)) **Free-for-all fashion show (Winners: Cherry Blossom Cookie and Coffee Cookie (tie)) **Who can make the most painfully realistic children's song (Winner: Mint Choco Cookie) **Who can make the best iTunes playlist - this particular activity had themes that went along with it, which included: ***Douchebag-Filled House Party on a Friday (Winner: Demencia) ***The Greatest Hits of an Optometrist's Waiting Room (Winner: Lincoln) ***2012-era Tumblr Heaven (Winner: Lime Cookie) ***The Ultimate Do-Not-Play Wedding Music List (Winners: Luan, Benny, Cherry Cookie (triple-way tie)) ***The Ultimate Do-Not-Play Wedding Music List 2.0 (done again due to popular demand) (Winners: Everyone) /The Alchemist With Two Protos/ /Dodaeche Mwoya?/ /We Are Cool/ /God Doesn't Like Furries/ /The Hypocondria God/ Cherry Cookie creates a church centered around Nick Crompton (who is later on mentioned more and more as the series progresses); Lime Cookie gets diagnosed with hypocondria. /Mr. And Mrs. Proto/ Proto upgrades his more-than-antivirus program, which leads to a female mascot named Mimi falling for him. Soon enough, Luan and Benny immediately start planning their wedding. Lincoln, meanwhile, learns about the secret chamber at the bottom of the house. /I Dream of the Juice/ Following a night which involved getting drunk off grape juice, Vampire Cookie, against his will, is sent to the juice branch of Alcoholics Anonymous and becomes a mentor; Cherry Blossom Cookie and Orange Cookie try to rid the now-hypocondriac Lime Cookie of her mental condition, only to fail epically. 'Trivia' *Vampire Cookie carries on with his new occupation later on in the series. *The uncut version of the party scene features Shots by Lil Jon being played, and various other AA members doing rather suggestive dance moves. On TV airings, it is just changed to the members drinking juice and doing TV-friendly dance moves. The uncut scene is shown on the Shitpost: The Complete First Season DVD, as well as Netflix. The scene is also a bonus feature on the Shitpost: Poutine, Maple Syrup, And Free Healthcare, Oh My! and Shitpost: Luan, Lynn and Ronnie's Bogus Adventure DVDs. /Mr. Simple/ /Memeucation/ Demencia yanks the Cookies out of public meme school to homeschool them, as she believes her meme knowledge is better than the teachers; Pink Choco Cookie learns about the importance of memes for Cookies, and unintentionally becomes a rep for Meme Hell's Intermediate Level of Dank Learning. 'Trivia' *Surprisingly enough, this homeschooling thing was not a bad idea. *Demencia's style of teaching the rest of the cast is similar to that of Peter Griffin's from the Family Guy episode, Foreign Affairs. /Cha Cha Nae Nae/ /St. Elmo/ /Comedians Have Feelings Too/ /Your Makeup is Terrible/ /We Messed Up/ /The First Shitpost Viewer Q&A/ /Kahoot Night/ The cast celebrates a special Kahoot night, where they all join a Kahoot server and see who gets the highest overall score. Basically a Kahoot competition. 'Trivia' *This episode was inspired by the POD episode, Cuckoo for Kahoot.